People in coffee shops are funny

It’s an odd bunch the people who hang out coffee shops.  You have the people who come in and out quick, get their caffeine and leave. Then have the once in a while people, who come and hang out a little to meet a friend before a movie or do something besides drinking for once.   Then you have the regular people, who come alone and stare in to a book or computer, reading something very serious, working on something very serious, or at least trying to look very serious They always seem to have there fore head crumpled like they are working their brain really really hard and they want every one to see how hard they are working.  I guess too much coffee and sitting still by yourself makes you forehead look funny. All the energy has to go somewhere.

 

I sit here wondering which one I am and realize my head is crumpled as I am typing this. Shit. I am that douche bag coffee house guy right now. That being said, I’m going to the pool and grabbing beer.

 

Have a good Sunday.

random jyag thoughts of my day

With no chance of making the Toronto Film Festival the only real option was to drink and drink allot.

Several beers and 1 hour later I ended up on a boat in the gulf. Got to love The Keys for shit like that. After snorkeling with the fishes, drowning in Bud Light and stuffing my face with mediocre nachos I ended up at a cowboy bar. The fact it was topless women bull riding night intrigued me.  Its one of those things that is always there, but you never go to it. Kind of like the homely chick at the end of the bar with nice tits. You’ve thought about it but just couldn’t bring your self to do it. You would have to talk to her the next day and it just wouldn’t be worth it Well, tonight I got suckered into the homely chick if you will and went to the cheesy cowboy country bar.  

I have to say, as far as girls go; there was a truckload of them. Alas, I am a cynical fuck and have no respect for cheese ball chick getting down to country.  Just can’t do ass shaking to Kenny Chesney unless there is serious amounts of really good cocaine and a monkey with a tambourine. Neither of those seemed to be happening so I was shit out of luck. I bought some Jaeger shots for some silly chick and realized I can not talk to recently graduated southern girls with out being really stoned.  Out of drugs and out of patience I jetted. Sorry, I am better than this shit.  

Thank god I am going to Vampire Weekend this week. A safe place to hit on indie rock chicks who are just as stoned  and cynical as me and don’t dance to Kenny Chesney on purpose, Or on accident for that matter. 

I hate country bars. The like plastic flags with beer ads and NASCAR on them  and it scares me. 

Revolation

I have decided i am much like an onion.

I smell. I have many layers. I make people cry.  I am purple sometimes

But, i do taste good when heated up and put on a sandwich!

The break up artist i am not

That title belongs to my friend Sloan. He can break up with anybody, remain their friend and still sleep with them on occasion. He has decorum, he has class, he has a filter bewteen his head and his mouth.

Me.. i am a fucking retard that just blurts out what ever i am thinking. Class? ha!  I cant even spell decorum. 

Awesome Girl I Was Dating says, “do you want to date me anymore?”

JYAG says “no, not really.”

AGIWD says “you want to be my friend though?”

JYAG says “Yea, and we can still have sex. I just dont want to be your boyfriend.”

AGIWD says ” so let me get this right, you want to be my friend and have sex with me, but you dont want to be my boyfriend?”

JYAG says “yea! Sounds great!

AGIWD says ” Fuck you!”

;(

oops. i suck.  

She was a cool chick, i just wasn’t that in to her (i know i know…retarded book reference. didn’t even mean it.)

As dumb as i am, i couldn’t lie to her and pretend i was in to it when i wasnt. She rules and deserves better than me. I still wanted to get laid on a regular basis though. Damn i am a dumb ass

Sloan should teach a class.

I could use a tutor

Oh well, there is always legos, cable and drunk chicks on weeknights.

Summer on an island brings out the nuttyness

 

New dating requirment for JYAG

From now on any chick i date more than three times (or until i get her in the sack) can not be obsessed with Sex and the City.  Fuck that show. Fuck Cosmos.  Fuck Sarah (horse face) Jessica Parker. Fuck expensive little shoes! Fuck girl power! Fuck bitchy whining. Fuck shopping. Fuck Mr. Big! Fuck the whole fuckity fucking show. Bury this dead horse (SJP)  all ready im sick of fucking hearing about it

 Fuck me if any chick i try to get with this reads this.

ahhh. i feel much better now.

For your pleasure check this site out. i heart it.

http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/

mmm

 

I wish to find the cheese for my macaroni…  A line i heard in Juno this evening made me think of this. As i sit here watching this film again while i  eat stir fry, i wonder if there is cheese for my macaroni. Or if i am just substutiing my cheese with something uncheese like just becasue its there. Damn substitutes seem like they will be tasty, but no, they have no where near the creamy goodness

 

I miss macaroni and cheese. I like velveeta. It’s the cheesiest!

pause for a commercial break

 For what ever reason writing here has become low on the priority scale. So for now i am going to take a break from this site.  Ill be back soon.. until then have fun!

JYAG

Song (video) of the day

This song kills it. I heart it.  The video is even better.

 

Eddie Grant you rule. Thank you for being you.

 

WHEN ANIMALS FIGHT EACH OTHER

I thought this was cool.

Shark vs Octopus. Sunday! Sunday! Sunday.!  (I love screaming Sunday Sunday Sunday, even if it is fucking Wednesday) Here we have water creatures fighting for domination and it is freaky. I am generally a giant pussy when it comes to the water and watching this makes me realize why. Two creatures that could eat me at any given moment as i swim drunk on Sundays on the water fight to the death with each other. Yes it gives me the heebie jeebies.

If only we could throw in the dude doing the commentary on the the video. Then this would be really kick ass.  

 

The perpetual bender

Sunburned and perpetually hungover for the past week. I have done much, drank more and had a fucking good time. Unfortunately all of this debauchery has kept me away from home (minus small amounts of sleep here and there) thus my blogity blog blog has sucked the big sack for the past week.

Back on the ball tomorrow, Ha! i said ball!