I keep my cell phone on vibrate. I do this mostly because I hate the stupid ring tones and cuteness that goes with it. I think ring tones are just to show off and make other people judge you by how cool, obscure or hip your ring tone is. Stupid stupid. Me, I stick with vibrate. It makes life easy. If was a chick it might give me extra pleasure. I keep hoping it will though.

Lately I have been leaving my phone at home, not charging it or forgetting it places. Sometimes I feel as if it’s my nemesis. The weird part is I always think my phone is vibrating in my pocket even when its not there. I think I have trained my leg to vibrate when I’m thinking of calling someone or it just starts vibrating for no apparent reason at all. I’m always grabbing my thigh and nothing is there. No phone, no Ipod, nothing to vibrate but my leg. I am beginning to worry that I am getting old and I am having spasms or something. Maybe this is an early sign of Alzheimer’s or Lou Gerick’s or lepercy. Shit, I don’t want any of those things. I’m not sure if it’s that technology sucks or if getting old does. Am I vibrating from getting old or am I just as easily influenced as Pavlov’s dogs? Is that my phone vibrating? Nope, Just a leg spasm.

I wonder if I am the only one with this problem. Maybe it’s an epidemic that crossing the nation, yet no one wants to talk about it. It’s scary to think we have trained our thighs to vibrate for no reason. I wish I could train other parts of my body to vibrate at will, like my nuts. That would be great. I would be a beast in the bed with my vibrating nuts. I wonder if it would tickle. Hmm.