I was discussing the wonderful parts of having a relationship with a buddy of mine today. We talked about how much others suck and how much we rule. What can I say I am perfect and I do everything right. Think I’m wrong? Well, you’re obviously wrong and lost your argument from the get go based on the fact that I am always right. Argument over. Glad we can agree. Unfortunately this stance doesn’t always go over so well and other measures have to be taken in order to let them know whose the boss.

I have come up with a new tactic in dealing with ex-girlfriends, buddy’s your in an argument with, or just someone who upsets you by cutting in front of you in line at the coffee shop. Society doesn’t allow for violence because we live in a pussifed nation and as much fun as it is to smash someone in the nose it’s just not acceptable and usually leads to a felony. Yelling and screaming gets you nowhere, especially if you are dealing with a woman. Conversation and discussion leads nowhere as well because nobody in this world listens, again especially when dealing with a woman.

I have come up with a solution to punctuate your stance and let everybody know who’s in charge and how things are going to be. Not only will you feel better after doing this, but you will also rest easy and be overwhelmed with satisfaction, knowing that at the end of the day you won. What could this be JYAG? What brilliant plan have you come up with oh kick ass logger of the universe? The answer my friends is simple. Pee on their feet.

Yup, pee on their foot. Right there in public, right on there in front of everyone right there in the middle of the problem. There is nothing like a little ‘ol piss on the foot to let people know how you feel about the situation and how you feel about them. No arguments, no discussions, maybe a misdemeanor. At the end of the day you get to look back with pride knowing that you were the guy that pissed on her/his foot. Next time I see my ex-girlfriend I hope she’s wearing her favorite Minola Blancs. It will make it even sweeter to drizzle on her toes, ☺

Have a good day

UPDATED:  My friends Scooter boy and Fnar Fnar, his girlfriend, have a couple of dogs that are always getting in to trouble.  They tell a favorite story of hanging out at the beach and letting the dogs run around, playing as dogs do.  Somehow an annoying little girl rubbed the animals the wrong way as little children can.  I’m a little fuzzy to the details of what the little monster did to piss off the docile lovely creature. Details details.  What ever it was, the girl pissed off the dog enough that he had to get her back.  The doggie waited patiently until nobody was looking and the little girl was all by herself building a nice sandcastle in a picturesque way at the edge of the ocean.  The good ‘ol dog snuck right up behind her, lifted his leg and let loose with the goods.  He pissed all down her back even shook it a little bit for good measure.  This is proof that mammals use peeing on another to extract revenge and show whose the boss. Take that motherfucker.  Unfortunately for the dog, Fnar Fnar took him to the vet the next day and had his balls cut off.  Shows what I know.

This laughing German midget rules. I know I know I have a problem. I have a bad obsession with midgets. They are so much goddamn fun. I have said it before and I will say it again, I find them to be lucky as well as a good cure for depression. Try watching this little fucker with out feeling better. He’s very hypnotic and better than Prozac!

Bonus, this German midget has a pet camel. I really like his camel.