I am sick of this election already. I know I am supposed to be all excited about such great, smart, endearing candidates on both sides of the fence, but I don’t give a shit. I think each one has their own deal with the devil to fulfill their power hungry goals. These are not leaders; these are egomaniacs, self-absorbed gobs of poo built to make us like them for their own benifit
Screw them! I nominate Heather Brooke for president. She is the blowjob queen of the universe and has no ego, no power trip, no deal with the devil. She simply has a gift from god that can save the world. Deep Throat for peace! With Heather in office, armed with her BJ skills she could defuse any problem, very quickly and all the enemy would be able to do is submit to her talents and take a nap.
Imagine if there was a WMD hidden somewhere and we sent Heather in. With in 5min and 1 deep throat all would be revealed and the world would be safe. If you’re thinking of sending Hilary in for this type of action, think again. Her husband had to go to an annoying sow to get his own junk taken care of. The ice queen has nothing on Heather.
With Heather as our leader all would be safe. Children could sleep and the rest of the world would be our best friend. The only problem with good ‘ol Heather in office would be the late night phone calls from that little North Korean fuck wanting more more more. Heather could deal with it. Heather could fix it. Heather would make the world a better place for all.
So in this primary I am asking all of you to write Heather Brooke in. Why not? If blowjobs can’t save the world I don’t know what can.
I wrote one article on BJ’s a while back and now that is the link that gives me the most hits. Out of 75 posts I have done over the past three months one silly post on Heather Brooke and her amazing sucking skills put me into the blow job search engine world.
I have to admit I was a bit shocked at the amount of hits based BJ’s. I know I love Bj’s, but I didn’t realize that that was what was going to bring me visitors, success and grandeur. Then I remembered that all the internet is, is simply a place for porn and silly videos. A time waster with some good sex clips as well as a place to steal music from. Alas, here we are.
Seeing as blow jobs are such a hit, I googled “blow job” to see what came up. Below you will find links and reviews of the top ten BJ links Google has provided.
#10Blow Job (film) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Andy Warhol rounds out the top ten with a wikipedia definition of his early movie title “Blow Job”. Great title! It cuts to chase and leaves no room for discussion about what this film could be about. It’s about a Blow job! whooo Hooo!
Here is what wikipedia had to say about Andy and his blow job movie
Pretty interesting if you are in to film history about blow jobs and feel like reading a dictionary
#9Blowjob Paradise – Frenchcum.com
This is basically a link to pay for porn sites. They promise much, but nothing is really there. Some nice pictures I guess, but who cares. Give me free shit or go home. I did like their text at the top of the page.
” If you’ve found yourself the way to the free blowjob page, it means you’re a true lover of oral sex, cum swallowing, deep throats, face fucking, ATM sex, sperm burping and many other romantic activities. This is for men to enjoy and for women to give out of generosity, curiosity or just because they are cock-sucking whores that love giving hot blowjobs “
Nicely put. I love how “sperm burping and many other romantic activities” are strung together in a sentence. That has to be a literary first!
On principal alone, the name “Blowjob Ninjas” kicks major ass.Two awesome things combined into one. Ninja’s & Blow jobs.Yes! I love it! Unfortunatly this site is another linkage like site. It has some cool trailer of this dude and his sexual adventures. It’s just basic silly porn.I wish it lived up to the name and had Ninja’s getting Blowjobs. Now that would have kicked ass.
Here is what Ninja Blowjob had to say about his site.
“Welcome to only Adult site on the internet that focuses on Asian men and women of all kinds, including blonde girls, brunettes, Latinas, Asian, Black girls, etc. I am a horny guy and I want to be with all the beautiful girls out there! In my site you will find lots of pictures and videos, in addition there are forums, personals, chats, etc. I am the “main” guy on the site and the pictures you will see are essentially about my sexual adventures with girls I meet online, swingers, porn stars, strippers, girls I have met on my travels, etc”
Yup, he’s Asian and likes to get blown. Holy buckets, isn’t that shocking. the only difference between him and me is that he is Asian. That and he makes money on porn and films himself.
I do have a ninja out fit and I did get a BJ in it once.I wish I had filmed it so I could kicks this sites ass.
Guess what?It’s a porn link site that shows you chicks that give blow jobs!!Shocking right? The title says it all“the adventures of Manmeat Nymphos”Hahahaha!They said“Manmeat”Good use of words.
It’s your basic site with some free teaser videos of chicks giving head.I kind of dug the girl with the teacher glasses.She made me feel naughty and I liked it.
More stupid links. This one is the worst. Nothing fun. No silly catch phrases.Nothing.It really doesn’t deserve to be at #6.This one invoked anger from me for being such a piece of smelly trash.I don’t mean that in a good way.
Now that’s some good shit. For some reason that brought me back to my youth when I would go pick up girls for dates when I was 16 and their fathers would look at me with distain as they knew all I wanted was to stick my junk in their daughters mouth.I wish they would have had a sense of humor like that. All they had was shotguns.
I did not find this funny. In fact I want my time back for watching it. That chick really made me want to punch her in the nose or the throat, one or the other. I really do not care.The camera guy was a douche bag as well. He deserves a kick in the balls.I can’t believe they made it to number 4.Shows you how stupid most people online are, you guys excluded of course.
Awesome!!Great instructions for chicks from a chick on how to give good head. You have to love chicks helping chicks get better at getting us off. This is the type of women I want to date this is type of women I want in my life. A total giver, a teacher, a women who cares about doing things right.Here is what she had to say
“Giving head, a blow job, fellatio, call it what you like, but there are many wonderful benefits to performing this delicious sex act.
For one, it can provide the one giving it empowerment with infinite possibilities to be creative and provide amazing pleasure. Particularly when performed with enthusiasm it can not only be incredible to the receiver but to the one providing it as well.
Let’s first discuss the most important ingredient to giving fantastic fellatio… ATTITUDE.”
She goes in to deep throating, how not to gag on cock, different techniques. She does this in a way that is not dirty or porn like. She is all about helping normal people to do sexual things the way that porn stars do. She rules and I heart her.
Wow, this guy loves blowjobs. I mean really loves them.More than all of us combined. Its all he thins about talks about writes about and I am very impressed with his dedication to covering the greatest known pleasure to man.Words can not describe his complete and utter saturation in to the world of getting head so check him out and be amazed someone spends this must time dealing with Blow Jobs. Thank you Mr. blowjob man. Thank you.
Here we have it folks, the number one site that comes up on goggle when you type in “ Blow Job” It is BLOW JOB BATTLE!! I really like the concept of having two girls battle it out on who gives the best blow job. Unfortunately this is all a ploy to get you to link to other paid porn sites.
Damn!I would have loved to see a true battle of chicks doing what they do best competing at who is the best blow jobber in the land We could put them in a ring, onstage or in a bowl of Jell-O. Mono E mono. They could have a trainer; a spit bucket, we could even have them do throat stretching exercises before hand.Really the possibilities are endless.
At the end of the day after all of my blow job research I have to say nothing is better than Heather and www.ideepthroat.com. She is the champ of champs of BJ’s. She is where this all started and she is still the champ.
PS- Heather, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you.Kiss
I hope I’ve made you guys happy with my BJ research. I am now expecting a huge surge in traffic, as this seems to be the only thing that gets people excited.
I have to be honest with you, this was all a ploy to get people to read my other stuff so if you made it this far, please look around at the other posts. Let me know what you think.Send me weird news, videos or anything else that crosses your path.
Cheers!
UPDATE:
just as i expected. The site has been hit ten times more than normal and it’s only been a couple of hours. porn is where the pudding is.
If you’re a fan of “Rock of Love” You’ll love this crazy crap. Remember the drunky drunkered psycho chick Lacey from the show. She didn’t win. Bret has better taste than that. (He chose that hotty with the pink hair.) Well Lacey decided to capitalize on her “fame” and made this awesome kick ass music video!
My favorite part is when she walks out to the limo in a yellow dress walking like she was a huge pole up her ass and she is trying to keep it in at all costs. It must be seen to be believed. Evidently, her stepfather is the director and her mother or aunt or possibly both did the wardrobe. I wonder if this is all they keep in the family!
If you do not watch this show, then here is a music video of a dumb drunk chick who sucks balls and is an idiot.
Women seem to come in waves lately. When I get one, I get four and when one leaves, they all do. Then I usually end up making drunken phone calls trying to convince one of them to come over and bang me. It never really works. At this point I am the desperate dude looking for quick ass and they can smell it on me like a two-day-old fish sandwich.
I wonder if there is some secret women group out there where they link up with each other and let it be known that now is the time to leave. I think they conspire, all of them together. They probably have conversations like, “Lets drop that two pump chump all at once. It’ll be great. Then we can take bets on who he will drunk dial first.“
Stupid whores.
The funny thing is I couldn’t stand any of them when they were banging me. Now that they’re not, I want to bang them. Fuck nature is a bitch.
So last night, after a couple of unreturned drunk dials I drank a few beers to entertain myself and the next thing I know its 2:30 in the morning and I’m bouncing between Raging Bull and House of Wax on their respective HBO channels. (On side note: House of Wax didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. In fact I think Paris Hilton has a wonderful career being in B horror movies. She is really good at getting banged and killed. I thought it was nice they had her partnered up with a black dude. It shows her diversity.) A ll of this while trying to find something good on Youporn.com
And then I struck gold
The gold I found, or I should say, re-found was Heather Brooke. She is the owner and star of ideepthroat.com Wow can this chick take a dick in the mouth. I heart her. She gives me faith that there are good women out there. You can see the absolute joy on her face as she takes her husband large cock all the way down her throat. I mean all the way. Thus the name of her site I deep throat. She is the grand ninja of blowjobs. She makes all other blow jobs look like CNN. Interesting, but not quite as good as it should be. She is the BBC of blowjobs. Thought provoking, entertaining and kicking the shit out of all other news channels. That being said, I hate the fucking British. As a bonus, she even has a couple of nice anal scenes as well. Those are nice and all but I really love her bj’s
After I tossed my load I noticed that my dog was looking at me weird and I felt really dirty. Then I realized that I was wanking while Raging Bull was playing and I could understand where my dog was coming from.
Its low tide now, but I feel the waves coming in soon.
