When I was a little kid I had to go stay with my father every other weekend and sometimes Tuesdays. The typical schedule of a kid from divorced parents. I hated it, the way you hate a job.  Nothing you can do about it though, you just have to do it, even if the paycheck isn’t that great.  Like any divorce parent my dad was on the hunt for a new wife and met one at a church mixer or something very Christian and careful. He dated her briefly and he got remarried as soon as she would let him. My job just got worse. 

 The new boss smelled weird, spit flew out when she talked and her voce reminded me of the key master from Ghost Busters, she wasn’t very much fun.  Along with my new boss on every other weekend and sometimes Tuesdays came her daughter. She was quite, nice and a few years older than me. Her name was Jackie and I didn’t hate her.

Fall came and went, winter was long and painful and every other weekend and sometimes Tuesdays I would power through my job of being a son and following my step monsters rules, as she lead with an iron fist. My new sister would disappear with her friends to the mall leaving me alone with the powers that be counting down the hours until my job of good sob was over.  I learned at a young age I could never have a boss and corporate life sucked.  Then summer came.

My father had been instructed that a pool would be needed in the back yard in order to have a lifestyle that was acceptable. Our new leader sometimes had decent ideas.  All winter and spring long my father plugged away to make sure the pool would be ready for his boss.  Low and behold when the summer sun started to leave us glistening he finished his work and the pool was done.  My job just got a little more interesting.

When my work weekend came up and I got to my fathers house. I cautiously avoided the step beast, slide out the side door to go look for some buried transformers I had hidden in the wood pile, but then I heard a noise, a squeal of delight, splashing. What could it be? The man that was hidden deep down inside of me new it was something good. It was chicks. I was not sure why I knew that was good it was just instinct like a bear killing a fish because he knows that what he was supposed to do. I knew these squeals and splashing were something good.

I climbed the stairs to the pool and to my joy there they were. Glistening with beads of water, blue little tops, eyes sparkling with the sun, skin brown and smooth.  It was my first time seeing live chicks in bikini’s and I was sold. My transformer hit the ground and the dirt fell off it in the impact. Even Optimous Prime was enjoying this view. 

“Come help me out JYAG!” my dad motioned to me from across the pool. He was tying up one side of a net.  “Oh, hi JYAG” said one of the gilssining pool chicks, even her teeth sparkled.  I waved half stunned, feeling special and excited all at the same time.  I strolled over to help my dad as he stretched the net to the other side of the pool revealing a super exciting volleyball net for the girls to play with.  Dad’s house just got a lot more fun.

I don’t think I left the pool that entire weekend. I could barley talk I could barley walk and I didn’t care. I liked what I was seeing and became a huge fan of pool volleyball. I even offered to ref! Sometimes they let me. It was heaven.  When volleyball was over the girls layed out in their tiny bikinis baking in the sun showing of their goods to the sky. I stared down at them up from the top deck in awe like I was a god and these were my creations.  I was hypnotized, I was hooked.  Chicks in bikinis were my new favorite thing and I wanted more.

Summer continued and I started to put in over time at my dads. I even brought my friends to help.  What better way to spend your summer than hanging out with your friends staring at chicks in swimsuits playing volleyball and laying in the sun?  So what if one of them was my stepsister.  I couldn’t help myself. They bouncing bikinis were like crack and I needed a fix. I even started watching Baywatch in my room alone

Summer ended, the pool was put to rest and the girls went back to the mall on the weekends and my every other work weekend and sometimes Tuesdays went back to sucking ass. But that summer taught me some valuable lessons that I follow to this day. Never work for a corporate America.  Chicks in swimsuits rule so live someplace where there is summer all year and if you see a pool volley ball game on, always offer to be the ref they might just let you.