Who the hell is Kimbo Slice you ask? He is the biggest badass street fighter in the USA. Kimbo is a youtube favorite and Internet superstar. His fights are so famous online that every desk jockey douche bag across America knows who he is. While they are supposed to be working in their cubes, these guys are trading cool ass youtube videos and Kimbo’s is a fan favorite. He has something like 1,000,000,000,000 views or so. Why should you care you are asking, well Kimbo us fighting on Showtime this weekend on the Elite XC MMA show. Why does this matter? Why am I asking so many questions? It matters because I believe this is the first time a sport star was made famous by the Internet. If this were a few years ago that’s all this guy would be, nothing but a local bad ass, but because of youtube he is a world renowned hero and seen as an ultimate kick ass mother fucker and now has a legitimate carrier ahead of him. Kind of cool if you ask me. If this dude can get famous for kicking the shit out of people and that one dude who hates people that hate Britney and posts videos, makes cash of this crap than I think I have a chance.

I just need to go do something cool and or retarded, film it and put it up on Youtube and watch my fans and the cash roll in. Maybe I could kick people asses to. Be the white Kimbo Slice. I’m kind of a pussy so I would have to fight sixth graders to make it fair or at least give me a shot. I could be the king of backyard sixth grade whoop ass. Under twelve… your ass is mine. (I mean that in the most non pedophile way…. yuck now I feel weird.)

People always told me I should do what I love. I love midgets. Maybe I could start a youtube series called “midgets gone wild” tape midgets doing weird shit. Have them pole dance, fight strangers eat chicken wings or maybe fly a kite. The possibilities are endless with midgets and a video camera. I world have to figure out a way to be on screen as well. I could just get drunk and egg them on the whole time. Maybe challenge them to a fight, two on one to make it fair. Just Your Average Guy – Youtube Midget Wresting Champion!

Check out Showtime this week if you can. You will see how far youtube can bring you if you can kick ass and film it. Dare to dream.

Here is a highlight video of Kimbo’s Street fights. Man i wish i could grow a beard like that.

The Hulkster is going to host a new version of American Gladiators. This is awesome. What a fantastic mash up of 80’s icons. It could be that I’m just a sucker for the 80’s and the Hulkster, but I’m pretty sure everyone everywhere will agree this totally kicks ass.

You know it’s nice to be at an age when remakes are happening, you remember the original and it doesn’t seem that long ago. It brings you back to a simpler time when there was only Nintendo, Double Dare, The Beastie Boys and once a month, Saturday Night’s Main Event with the Hulkster ripping the shreds out of people

Hearing this news I want to do a remake of myself. Take one weekend and egg some houses. Maybe sneak out of the house and drink beer, really shitty beer like Bush. Do it under a bridge with the local hard rocker chick. Maybe I could play hide and go sneak but with paint guns in a suburban neighborhood. I don’t know, it’s all very exciting.

I do know that I am excited to see Hulk-a-mania run wild over you on a television soon. Kicking ass American Gladiator style. I just hope he doesn’t bring his wife or kids on. They suck.

For those of you that do know Bas Rutton already, then you know how much he rules. For those of you who do not know who he is, you are in for a treat. Bas is one of the greatest mixed marital artists of all time and is perhaps the greatest color commentator of the sport or of any sport for that matter of all time. This guy kicks ass all day everyday and cracks some good jokes between cracking skulls. What we have below is a highlight of his world famous bar self-defensive video. Words from me do no justice to the ass kickery of this video.

Enjoy children, enjoy