In the past two days I have discovered that Jesus is my savior and I must now change my ways. I have given up all drugs, drink, violent movies, curse words, sex, meat, motorized vehicles and anything that is not righteous and good.  I will no longer make fun of midgets, use the word “retard” or mention 2 girls, 1 cup again.  

I hope that all of you can see the light as I have and follow in the ways of the lord. He set forth a journey for us all and his word is bond. We must be bland, boring and unsinfull to make this world a better place, a place we can be proud of, our very own heaven on earth.  From now on I will turn the other cheek and be kind to all I see.

I will no longer have meaningless relationships with women of ill repute. I will try and help them see their wrongs and show them the way of a good and virtues life that is around the corner if they choose to follow. I will be a spokes person for all that is good and crush all that is evil.

Thank you all for reading my inner most thoughts and experiences for the past months. I cherish all of you as friends and children of a higher power.  Now I ask for you to take this next step with me in to the light. Come children to a new and higher place where we can hold hands and dance and bask in the glory of the light.

Fucking with you

 Have a good April fools you retards.