Archive for June, 2008

The break up artist i am not

June 2, 2008

That title belongs to my friend Sloan. He can break up with anybody, remain their friend and still sleep with them on occasion. He has decorum, he has class, he has a filter bewteen his head and his mouth.

Me.. i am a fucking retard that just blurts out what ever i am thinking. Class? ha!  I cant even spell decorum. 

Awesome Girl I Was Dating says, “do you want to date me anymore?”

JYAG says “no, not really.”

AGIWD says “you want to be my friend though?”

JYAG says “Yea, and we can still have sex. I just dont want to be your boyfriend.”

AGIWD says ” so let me get this right, you want to be my friend and have sex with me, but you dont want to be my boyfriend?”

JYAG says “yea! Sounds great!

AGIWD says ” Fuck you!”

;(

oops. i suck.  

She was a cool chick, i just wasn’t that in to her (i know i know…retarded book reference. didn’t even mean it.)

As dumb as i am, i couldn’t lie to her and pretend i was in to it when i wasnt. She rules and deserves better than me. I still wanted to get laid on a regular basis though. Damn i am a dumb ass

Sloan should teach a class.

I could use a tutor

Oh well, there is always legos, cable and drunk chicks on weeknights.

Summer on an island brings out the nuttyness

 

New dating requirment for JYAG

June 2, 2008

From now on any chick i date more than three times (or until i get her in the sack) can not be obsessed with Sex and the City.  Fuck that show. Fuck Cosmos.  Fuck Sarah (horse face) Jessica Parker. Fuck expensive little shoes! Fuck girl power! Fuck bitchy whining. Fuck shopping. Fuck Mr. Big! Fuck the whole fuckity fucking show. Bury this dead horse (SJP)  all ready im sick of fucking hearing about it

 Fuck me if any chick i try to get with this reads this.

ahhh. i feel much better now.

For your pleasure check this site out. i heart it.

http://www.sarahjessicaparkerlookslikeahorse.com/