Where have all the good girls gone?

I live in a world of bars, booze, drugs and swine. (I really love bacon) Having been with out a girlfriend for the past several months I seem to gravitate towards late night debauchery, emotionless hook ups and late night cab rides that provide good stories, but leave an empty heart. Don’t get me wrong I have met some amazing women as well over the past few weeks; unfortunatly they always seem to live across the world and the reality of hanging out with them just is not in the cards right now. I do hope that pipe dream becomes a reality one day. You never know.

To fulfill the my heart on my sleeve needs, I have developed a crush, a yearning if you will for a kindred spirit with a women so amazing, so endearing, so incredibly perfect it’s impossible for me to find a flaw in her. And I get to see her 2 times a day. She never fails to leave me feeling good, feeling satisfied and she always starts every conversation with a smile. When she comes in the room every man stares at her with awe, with zeal, with passion. Who could this perfect woman be you ask? None other than Giada from The food Network or course.

Her cute little hands, amazing cleavage and giant bobble head that jiggles around in unison with her boobs have hypnotized me into comfort, utter admiration and love for the most perfect women I have ever known (or not known as the case maybe.) The way she mixes up her dishes, mashes her potatoes with glee, turns me in to mush and I stare at her with pleasure knowing that there are good women out there. At the very least she is out there and that gives me hope, it gives humanity hope.

Isn’t it amazing the standards you have for a partner, a girlfriend or boyfriend what ever and the standards you have to get laid never seem to be on the same plane? I wish I could say mine are one and the same. But I get drunk and turn in to a horny scumbag and all the standards go out the window. If I held every girl I know up to the Giada standard I would not ever get any, but maybe I would elevate my chances of meeting somebody with in the Giada ballpark. Unfortunately late night scotch tends to win over thoughts of the heart.

Truth be told I am not the only one in love. Everyday a group of guys from all classes and ages meet for lunch at this cool bar on the Warf. We drink wine, eat fattening food and tune in to The Food Network for our mutual crush. Conversations come to an end and everyone zeros in on her little body cruising around the kitchen. We get excited when she changes her hair, disappointed when she isn’t wearing a low cut shirt, we come up with ideas to make the show better such as “oven cam” so when she puts her delicious treats in oven we can get a good shot of her cleavage. Food and boobs… its really all men want.

I’m not sure where all this is going. I know this, at the end of the day I might not have a women close that I care for or see a future with right now, but I do have Giada and that means there are others like her out there and I thank god for that.

For your viewing pleasure here are some of my favorite pictures and video’s of the greatest women on the planet.

I am admittedly a little obsessive

 

 

In a bikini… who hoo!

Swimming in yellow water !

Sorry.. i just can’t help myself

Oh yea… She cooks to.. mmmm Bacon