Monday Morning Random Run

 

This morning I got early to run off the case of beer and pounds of meat, cheese and the odd couple of Maine lobster thrown in for good measure I devoured this weekend.  I typically like to punish myself after a weekend of drugs, booze and food with running until I feel like puking or just running until I puke, which ever happens first.

This morning I went on my usual route of passing by the dog park to check out the chicks who have nothing better to do than walk their dogs.  After that its off to the beach which is usually a show of MILF’s attempting to stay toned while running with their toddlers in strollers while yappy away with their other MILFY friends.  The are simply waiting the hours away until its socially acceptable to crack open a bottle of chardonnay with a name everybody knows.  I love  them.

What can I say I need motivation to exercise.  I get bored easily and dog walking chicks and MILF’s give me motivation to run one more block for I never know what will be around the corner. Secretly, I am waiting for one of the MILF’s to whisk me away and make me her pool boy. She would leave her husband and we would get half of his shit.  Maybe we could  move to Mexico, I could walk the dog to the park in the mornings as she layed around and tanned her big butt drinking cheap wine with a label nobody knows at any hour of the day.  What can I say…I know how to treat a lady

My run ended down a tiny lane pass the super arty hip yoga studio where middle-aged women were kick boxing today. Watching them I let out a giggle. There is something funny in watching a bunch of chubby mom’s with hot daughters in college let loose with kicks and punches in sweat pants at 8am.  I was proud of them, but it still invoked a giggle from me. I wanted to jump up and hold pads for them, maybe spar a bit.  I would clock the one with the short bowl cut with a good old fashioned left hook liver punch. Knock ‘em around a bit, that will show them how to fight.   

After the kick boxing middle aged ladies  I turned the corner and noticed a white plastic blob in front of me and I thought to myself “Is that a plastic fuck sheep? ” (I live in a place where plastic fuck sheep’s seem to show up every once in a while, so it was not that the first time I’ve seen one of these plastic lovelies..)   The odd part was it was not Halloween or any of the other random festivals that happen here all the time.  It was just your normal average Monday morning.  Weird.  At first I thought maybe the super bowl would have something to do with it.  But plastic fuck sheep’s don’t really have much to do with the super bowl. At least nothing that I could think of off of the top of my head.  It seemed he was lost from home. Maybe he ran away looking for a better life.

I sat there sweating off my cheese and beer staring at it with on  odd curiosity.   A truck pulled up and a couple of plumbers got out, entering the house next  to the fuck sheep and stepped over him like he wasn’t there. If it were a simple plastic ball I think the plumbers would have kicked it out of the way. Nobody wants to kick a fuck sheep, not even plumbers. I thought at least they would make a Little Bo Peep joke.  Nope.  Nothing.  They just went about their business.  The fuck sheep looked content so I left him alone.

The best I could do was take a  quick picture and wish him luck.

Thank you Mr. Plastic Fuck Sheep.  You made my day.