I’m off to LA for a sound mix for the weekend. This should be interesting! I fucking hate LA.
Archive for February, 2008
Off to La La Land
February 28, 2008Hot Pockets Kick Ass…. yes im a redneck
February 28, 2008my friend Sloan shared this awesomeness with me.. so i share it with you
I am lean fan myelf
Gems in my junk
February 27, 2008Sick with a cold and bored at home today I hung out in my favorite “hug me I’m a Looney” t-shirt, my velour bathrobe completed with fuzzy slippers organizing my music and playing with my big TV. I’m quite the catch ladies. It’s amazing what you find in your own stuff when you dig around a little bit. My find of the day was my Gorillaz live in Manchester DVD. I put it to listen to while I cleaned and looked for other gems, alas the music sucked me and I watched the whole thing, not getting anything done. I have believed I have also discovered a new buzz with a mix of green tea, Thera Flu, Airborne, decongestant and Twisters. Makes you fucking kiddy I tell ya.
Here is an excerpt from the show. This guy is my hero. I hope I get the chance to see him and his crew live one day.
Enjoy….
Ps. if you no like The Gorillaz….. Promptly fuck off.
There is a god!
February 27, 2008Lean Hot Pocket ~ $3.95
Ounce of very good pot ~ $350
Radioheads’ latest album $9.99
Waking up on the couch with a dirty plate and my laptop on my stomach with the Ticketmaster page opening then finding out I stonily bought two tickets to Radiohead in West Palm Beach – -
Fucking priceless.
Okay it was $80
But it was a nice thing to wake up to.
Where have all the good girls gone?
February 27, 2008
I live in a world of bars, booze, drugs and swine. (I really love bacon) Having been with out a girlfriend for the past several months I seem to gravitate towards late night debauchery, emotionless hook ups and late night cab rides that provide good stories, but leave an empty heart. Don’t get me wrong I have met some amazing women as well over the past few weeks; unfortunatly they always seem to live across the world and the reality of hanging out with them just is not in the cards right now. I do hope that pipe dream becomes a reality one day. You never know.
To fulfill the my heart on my sleeve needs, I have developed a crush, a yearning if you will for a kindred spirit with a women so amazing, so endearing, so incredibly perfect it’s impossible for me to find a flaw in her. And I get to see her 2 times a day. She never fails to leave me feeling good, feeling satisfied and she always starts every conversation with a smile. When she comes in the room every man stares at her with awe, with zeal, with passion. Who could this perfect woman be you ask? None other than Giada from The food Network or course.
Her cute little hands, amazing cleavage and giant bobble head that jiggles around in unison with her boobs have hypnotized me into comfort, utter admiration and love for the most perfect women I have ever known (or not known as the case maybe.) The way she mixes up her dishes, mashes her potatoes with glee, turns me in to mush and I stare at her with pleasure knowing that there are good women out there. At the very least she is out there and that gives me hope, it gives humanity hope.
Isn’t it amazing the standards you have for a partner, a girlfriend or boyfriend what ever and the standards you have to get laid never seem to be on the same plane? I wish I could say mine are one and the same. But I get drunk and turn in to a horny scumbag and all the standards go out the window. If I held every girl I know up to the Giada standard I would not ever get any, but maybe I would elevate my chances of meeting somebody with in the Giada ballpark. Unfortunately late night scotch tends to win over thoughts of the heart.
Truth be told I am not the only one in love. Everyday a group of guys from all classes and ages meet for lunch at this cool bar on the Warf. We drink wine, eat fattening food and tune in to The Food Network for our mutual crush. Conversations come to an end and everyone zeros in on her little body cruising around the kitchen. We get excited when she changes her hair, disappointed when she isn’t wearing a low cut shirt, we come up with ideas to make the show better such as “oven cam” so when she puts her delicious treats in oven we can get a good shot of her cleavage. Food and boobs… its really all men want.
I’m not sure where all this is going. I know this, at the end of the day I might not have a women close that I care for or see a future with right now, but I do have Giada and that means there are others like her out there and I thank god for that.
For your viewing pleasure here are some of my favorite pictures and video’s of the greatest women on the planet.
I am admittedly a little obsessive
In a bikini… who hoo!
Swimming in yellow water !
Sorry.. i just can’t help myself
Oh yea… She cooks to.. mmmm Bacon
We is big time now
February 26, 2008Someone posted us on my favorite website www.urbandictionary.com It wasn’t even me i swear Get ready for the big time baby… i really like that the 2nd definition is for a young adult christian group. We have so much in common
| 1. | JYAG |
|
|||
|
Just your average guy.
But what do I know, I’m JYAG. |
|||||
| 2. | jyag |
|
|||
|
Joint Young Adult Group. A group of Young Adult Christian believes in the bay area.
Let’s go to JYAG! We can check the times on www.jyag.org |
|||||
That’ll show ‘em
February 25, 2008
I was discussing the wonderful parts of having a relationship with a buddy of mine today. We talked about how much others suck and how much we rule. What can I say I am perfect and I do everything right. Think I’m wrong? Well, you’re obviously wrong and lost your argument from the get go based on the fact that I am always right. Argument over. Glad we can agree. Unfortunately this stance doesn’t always go over so well and other measures have to be taken in order to let them know whose the boss.
I have come up with a new tactic in dealing with ex-girlfriends, buddy’s your in an argument with, or just someone who upsets you by cutting in front of you in line at the coffee shop. Society doesn’t allow for violence because we live in a pussifed nation and as much fun as it is to smash someone in the nose it’s just not acceptable and usually leads to a felony. Yelling and screaming gets you nowhere, especially if you are dealing with a woman. Conversation and discussion leads nowhere as well because nobody in this world listens, again especially when dealing with a woman.
I have come up with a solution to punctuate your stance and let everybody know who’s in charge and how things are going to be. Not only will you feel better after doing this, but you will also rest easy and be overwhelmed with satisfaction, knowing that at the end of the day you won. What could this be JYAG? What brilliant plan have you come up with oh kick ass logger of the universe? The answer my friends is simple. Pee on their feet.
Yup, pee on their foot. Right there in public, right on there in front of everyone right there in the middle of the problem. There is nothing like a little ‘ol piss on the foot to let people know how you feel about the situation and how you feel about them. No arguments, no discussions, maybe a misdemeanor. At the end of the day you get to look back with pride knowing that you were the guy that pissed on her/his foot. Next time I see my ex-girlfriend I hope she’s wearing her favorite Minola Blancs. It will make it even sweeter to drizzle on her toes, ☺
Have a good day
UPDATED: My friends Scooter boy and Fnar Fnar, his girlfriend, have a couple of dogs that are always getting in to trouble. They tell a favorite story of hanging out at the beach and letting the dogs run around, playing as dogs do. Somehow an annoying little girl rubbed the animals the wrong way as little children can. I’m a little fuzzy to the details of what the little monster did to piss off the docile lovely creature. Details details. What ever it was, the girl pissed off the dog enough that he had to get her back. The doggie waited patiently until nobody was looking and the little girl was all by herself building a nice sandcastle in a picturesque way at the edge of the ocean. The good ‘ol dog snuck right up behind her, lifted his leg and let loose with the goods. He pissed all down her back even shook it a little bit for good measure. This is proof that mammals use peeing on another to extract revenge and show whose the boss. Take that motherfucker. Unfortunately for the dog, Fnar Fnar took him to the vet the next day and had his balls cut off. Shows what I know.
MIIIDDDGEETTT MOOONNDAAAAAYYYY!!
February 25, 2008YES YES YES. FROM NOW ON EVERYDAY WILL BE MIDGET MONDAY!!!!!
I need structure. I need goals… I need a life. Therefore to kick off every week I will post up a midget video for your pleasure and my own. What better way to kick off a workweek than a small video of the little people?
Here we have one that I have never seen until this morning. It’s amazing what comes up when you type in “best midget video” These guys have style, they’ve got class, these guys kick midget ass! The little guy, who seems to be the leader, has the hips of and angel. And once he gets going those hips don’t lie as he lip syncs with passion and verve. His partner has the longest fucking arms in the history of midgets. They are so big they would be huge on a normal sized Indian dance guy. I mean really, the reach on that midget is ridiculous. If he ever follows a career in cage fighting he would dominate with his reach alone. I believe near the end of the video they “make it rain” with strange Indian dollar bills.
Life is good and your day will be better for taking in the first of many midget Mondays.
Ps. suggestions for video are appreciated
Enjoy
“You’re going to get through this; you’re going to be fine.”
February 25, 2008I stayed out at a benefit party until the wee hours of the morning singing karaoke with drag queens, playing Wii bowling and talking up my buddies ex girlfriend and her cute little buddy until the sun came up. So much for not drinking for a day. Why does 4am come so fast? Also is there any way to avoid a cocktail in this town for 24hrs if you leave the house? Last but not least… If I never go grocery shopping, why can I always find something to eat out of old condiments and stale chips? Son of a bitch I need to find a passion for something other than booze and tits… Not that there is anything wrong with those things.
Well, I missed the Oscars. I actually enjoy them in a fucked up way. Being the cynical fuck that I am it surprises me that I sit here upset with myself for missing them for booze and boobies. In hindsight I should have went with the Oscars. Booze and tits be damned! God damn this 20/20 hindsight bullshit is always right. The thing is, I am going to LA for some film stuff at the end of the week and I wanted to remind myself that the famous are cooler than us and have better teeth. Damn it, I’ll just have to pick up People to fill me in and the wonderful gossip that only happens in La La Land.
I am stoked all my favorite films won. Proof again that my opinion rules and what I think is awesome; truly is. My title of king shit motherfucker stays in tact. I love the Coen brothers with all my heart (as much as you can man love a brother filmmaking team) and was touched by Best picture winner “No Country For Old Men” in a way that only they can. What other filmmakers make you identify with the oddities of life quite like the Coens? They make violence an endearing ballet. Not to mention, they are from my hometown and make me proud to be a Minnesotan. Also banging out the talent from MN, Diablo Cody, an ex stripper from the greatest dive dance club ever located right in downtown Minneapolis came up with the best screenplay for “Juno.” This was the feel good, hip ass comedy of the year. Check it out; it will make you chuckle and cry. (I’m a pussy)
Reading about this as I sit here awaiting yet another hangover I tip my hat to those that followed there passion to the ninth degree and grace us with powerful stories straight from the deepest parts of their mind and the deepest parts of their hearts. The Coens and Ms Cody make me want to be a better filmmaker, a better writer, and a better person. As much as booze and boobies rule, winning an Oscar has got to feel pretty damn good. Imagine all the booze and boobies you get then.
Reading some info on Juno early this morning I came across this out take. I want to give the chubby kid a hug after I “Animal House” the other guy over the head with his acoustic guitar. I know it wrong, but I can’t help myself. I hate acoustic guitar boys, yet I love this moment in film because it feels so innocent and real. I’m not even sure this is even part of the movie but i heart it anyways. Enjoy
Update: so this isn’t from the movie..oops The reason it feels so real and endearing is because it is real and endearing. They are the Naked Sumos. These guys are simple sweet and awesome. I’m usually more of hip hop – funk- soul guy but i got some love for the sappy acoustic stuff as well. I’m not going to put on a James Taylor album or identify to much with Elliot smith (RIP) but these kids got me. So support them, see them, make them your myspace friend and tell them how much they kick ass.
hello
February 24, 2008I am on your typical bender that produces non activity induced by late night drinking and horrible hangovers…
Back monday
