My girlfriend gave me the boot a few months ago. She packed up her stuff and moved back to Connecticut. I was discussing this with my buddy last night over a couple beers and he imparted some advice to me “Never date girls from Connecticut.”
I didn’t know this. Is this common knowledge to everybody else but me? Christ, I’ve dated three chicks from that up collared, alligator emblemed state. I must be a bigger fool than I anticipated. You see, I’m from Minnesota and Connecticut is just a place where 80’s movies I was supposed to like all seemed to take place in. My buddy informed me that once the preppiness gets in their blood, there is nothing they can do but run back to it once they begin to want to settle down and own an Audi. It’s like a pastel colored collared shirt, white hat wearing, tennis playing on the weekend’s bomb goes off in their heads at around 25 and turns them in to corporate Stepford Wives. Scary shit!
So now, I don’t have a girlfriend from Connecticut it. It’s not to bad though. I do miss the warmness of a nice home, instead of the sweat filled sheets and dirty dishes that has taken over. On the other hand, it’s also nice to act like a complete chump, getting wasted on cheap booze, eating cheaper food and taking home even cheaper women every weekend and some Monday nights. (At least I try to take home cheap women every weekend and Monday nights.) I think I might buy a Playstation 3, just because I can. Take that Connecticut. Take that!
It’s too bad those preppy Connecticut looking chicks are so darn cute. I have a thing for those girls. I can’t seem to help it; they hypnotize me with there perfect hair. I love the expensive shoes on their little feet. They way they load cocaine up their nose with the gracefulness of an egret mystifies me. It’s like I want to live in those bad 80’s movies, but be the Rob Lowe guy. The problem is, I’m just not that cool. I try. In my head I am the 80’s badass guy with a cool earring and all the preppy girls flock to me to fix me. Alas, it’s all a pipe dream. They run the other way.
I am turning over a new leaf. From now on I am only dating girls from North Carolina. That seems like a fine state. Mountains, tobacco, ocean, barbeque, and moon shine. I dig all of those things. They don’t have alligators on their shirts there either. They probably eat them as a snack on a stick at street fairs. I think I could love me some southern women, get treated like a real man. Plus they wear those flowery dresses and from what I hear make a mean sweet tea. The only thing that worries me is that their daddies have lots of guns. I’m not good with armed daddies. Never have been
I’m sure somebody will tell me never date girls from North Carolina some day to. At least it will keep my mind of Connecticut for a while. If that fails there is always Eastern Europe. I do love me an angel in black with a short skirt and a long jacket.
September 2, 2008 at 1:44 am
Hey i stumbled over this blog or whatever you call this, because i was searching something about CT in google. and i just have to defend CT girls for a second, we may wear allegators on our shirts but CT isnt what people think, yea we have rich people just like everywhere else but we also have bums sleeping on the street, yea their card board boxes may be a little bigger then other bums not from CT, lol, and trust i suck at tennis and i dont drive an audii and i dont like guys with pastel colord button downs. we’re not all stuck up yuppies here..
maybe thats just cause im origanlly from NC and im a southern at heart =)
September 2, 2008 at 12:45 pm
ha! i new you couldn’t be from CT. You sound way to down to earth.
December 29, 2008 at 5:31 am
Right. I’m from CT born and raised, and male. I strongly suspect the girls in this state suck ass. There is cash in this state, but there’s actually a lot of country too. I think the mixture clashes. Our girls rarely respect themselves, because the guys here often don’t respect them either. Its really a big loop of dumbasses getting drunk. And BEWARE. Girls here have acid in their tears.
January 19, 2009 at 6:43 am
Hey I’m from CT and lived here my whole life. So our parents buy us Mustangs and Audi’s when we graduate high school. I totaled my first car and my parents bought me a brand new one. So what. We go to bars and parties and drink Patron and Grey Goose, but come on, who really likes Jose Cuervo or Dubra vodka? Yeah we have a large house and lots of money, but that’s because we are smarter than the rest of the U.S. and make more money. And maybe my parents bailed me out when I was arrested in high school for larceny and got away with a few hours of community service and had it wiped off my record. They still love me. Don’t be so jealous. Yeah, all the girl’s wear Uggs and have coach or Louis Vuitton bags but damn are they hot! You just need to learn to get past their slutty attitude. They aren’t all like that, just need to shop around.
However, Connecticut also has Hartford, our states capital-which is one of the poorest cities in America. It’s really just Fairfield County, which may be the richest county in America, that is the way you are describing.
I’m a 21 year old male, and you know what, it’s not like we just sit on our ass all day and take everything our parents give us for granted (well, most of us). We respect our parents, get a job during high school and go to college for at least 4 years. Its just that we are able to buy more or save early since our parents have the money to pay for college, a car, insurance, and anything else we need-they just exceed our expectation and go above and beyond the absolute necessities.
So there you go, Connecticut described by someone who has lived here their entire life. Some may call it a Crap Hole (which should be one word with a hyphen), and the rest of us will call it living life at its’ best where the rest are jealous. Go Connecticut!!!
January 21, 2009 at 4:22 am
Ryan, that was an awesome rant..
Chicks from Connecticut suck compared to chicks i have dated from any other state, country, and or planet. Although they are extremely well groomed, drive nice cares, have wonderful coke habits and cute feet ,
PS. I can spell Crap Hole and way i like.
Also, go fuck your self while you wear your white hat.
Cheers!
January 28, 2009 at 2:19 pm
yes in the usa state of connecticut the girls are either drunks or feminists or they are a comination of both—they look like a doll they act like a drunken skank–always seeking a free drink at a bar but if you drive an old car–they take the drink & walk away to another man–no shame–if you lie to these women–they love it—as they desire $$ even in the drunken stupors of thier binges–& they are great actress—like a virgin who has a skank life when away from her family—they are spoiled drunks–feminists & never really happy–I am an expert of women as I have lived & worked on 3 continents—my advice to you–just use the Connecticut women but marry a Latina & always be a macho–never a sissy