I <3 Late Night Television and Deep Throat Blow Jobs

Women seem to come in waves lately. When I get one, I get four and when one leaves, they all do. Then I usually end up making drunken phone calls trying to convince one of them to come over and bang me. It never really works. At this point I am the desperate dude looking for quick ass and they can smell it on me like a two-day-old fish sandwich.

I wonder if there is some secret women group out there where they link up with each other and let it be known that now is the time to leave. I think they conspire, all of them together. They probably have conversations like, “Lets drop that two pump chump all at once. It’ll be great. Then we can take bets on who he will drunk dial first.“
Stupid whores.

The funny thing is I couldn’t stand any of them when they were banging me. Now that they’re not, I want to bang them. Fuck nature is a bitch.

So last night, after a couple of unreturned drunk dials I drank a few beers to entertain myself and the next thing I know its 2:30 in the morning and I’m bouncing between Raging Bull and House of Wax on their respective HBO channels. (On side note: House of Wax didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. In fact I think Paris Hilton has a wonderful career being in B horror movies. She is really good at getting banged and killed. I thought it was nice they had her partnered up with a black dude. It shows her diversity.) A ll of this while trying to find something good on Youporn.com
And then I struck gold

The gold I found, or I should say, re-found was Heather Brooke. She is the owner and star of ideepthroat.com Wow can this chick take a dick in the mouth. I heart her. She gives me faith that there are good women out there. You can see the absolute joy on her face as she takes her husband large cock all the way down her throat. I mean all the way. Thus the name of her site I deep throat. She is the grand ninja of blowjobs. She makes all other blow jobs look like CNN. Interesting, but not quite as good as it should be. She is the BBC of blowjobs. Thought provoking, entertaining and kicking the shit out of all other news channels. That being said, I hate the fucking British. As a bonus, she even has a couple of nice anal scenes as well. Those are nice and all but I really love her bj’s

After I tossed my load I noticed that my dog was looking at me weird and I felt really dirty. Then I realized that I was wanking while Raging Bull was playing and I could understand where my dog was coming from.

Its low tide now, but I feel the waves coming in soon.